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Several years ago, US Vice-President Dan Quayle criticized the Murphy Brown television show for "mocking the importance of fathers" because the main character had chosen to bear an essentially fatherless child. For his efforts, Quayle was widely ridiculed. A huge television audience tuned in to hear Ms. Brown rebuke him, and to be reminded that modern families "come in all shapes and sizes". Journalists jumped into the skirmish with articles and evidence from social scientists showing that the consequences of absent fathers on children had previously been "overstated".
There's no doubt Quayle was disadvantaged because of his reputation to bumble whenever he opened his mouth. Ms. Brown, the apparent winner, on the other hand, had beauty, vivacity and lots of really admirable nerve.
The outcome of that argument may have had less to do with the opponents, however, than with a huge shift in our society's thinking about fatherhood. This is the point David Blankenhorn makes strongly in Fatherless America, a book subtitled "Confronting our most urgent social problem" (Basic Books, 1995).
We are losing fathers at an increasing rate, Blankenhorn says. Fatherlessness is now almost as common as fatherhood as a defining feature of American childhood. Moreover, it is easy to demonstrate a direct connection between "the flight of males from their children's lives" and present serious, growing social problems.
Too little attention is given to that connection, Blankenhorn says, because we are losing something else: the very idea of fatherhood. Our culture is changing its mind about the role of men in family life; fathers are increasingly viewed as superfluous. They are either "expendable or part of the problem".
Blankenhorn examines in some detail the "elite" or "expert" discourse of our culture--what is told us by those credentialed authorities upon whom we rely to name problems, define options and set agendas--as well as the "stories" of popular culture.
Blankenhorn finds a "fatherhood script" with several themes: Kids will be fine, maybe even better off, without fathers. If dads do stick around, they ought to become more like mothers. Fatherhood is not "simple and mandatory" but "complex and optional".
The script uses a range of characters to tell the story--a story which provides a "cultural rationale" for the trend of fatherlessness. The leading players are The Unnecessary Father (in the role of chorus, commenting on the action), the Old Father (who represents power and inspires anger) and the New Father (one of the stars, a media favourite).
Supporting characters, loved or vilified for different reasons, include the Deadbeat Dad, the Visiting Father, the Sperm Father (father at his tiniest), the Stepfather and the Nearby Guy.
This is a challenging book--tightly argued, extensively researched. Blankenhorn is passionate about his concern that fatherhood be reconnected with both marriage and masculinity. He pushes the reader to evaluate nearly every facet of currently accepted "wisdom" on family life. Thankfully, he does it without the high-pitched reactive tone that sometimes characterizes defenders of the family. I recommend it as a tool to sharpen the edges of our discernment on the important matter of fatherhood.
Dora Dueck is a writer and a member of Jubilee Mennonite Fellowship in Winnipeg.
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