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Terror continues to grip Burundi's capital. Tutsis fear rebels will attack the city; the few Hutus left in the city are frightened they will be slaughtered by the Tutsi militia and army if a rebel attack takes place.
Mennonite Central Committee asks for prayers for its five workers in Burundi and for the people of Burundi, particularly Christian leaders who feel they may be targets because of their ethnicity or because of their work for reconciliation and peace. Two leaders of local partner agencies recently asked MCC workers to look after their families if they are killed.
Lauren and Suzy Yoder serve as MCC Burundi country representatives. "We may not be targets, but we could be killed in crossfire or by being in a vehicle that is ambushed," says Suzy. "With the Burundian government displeased with the international community for calling for dialogue among all sides, we at MCC have to face that we may not be welcome here much longer."
"The confusion, the lies, the atrocities do wear us out," says Lauren. "There are overwhelming days when if we didn't let go and leave it to God, praying that God be the one to intervene, we would not be able to keep going."
But the Yoders say they find satisfaction in supporting groups that are working to bring people together.
Burundians are finding creative ways to protect themselves and their families. Since whole families have been massacred in the night, some disperse their children among various family members and friends so at least some may have a chance to survive. One man dressed as a woman to go to his office unrecognized. Others rotate where they spend the night. A Tutsi Roman Catholic bishop keeps an unpredictable schedule to evade becoming a target.
"Although MCC clearly stated the risks of service in Burundi, I didn't want to believe that part of my job would be to daily face the possibility of death," Suzy says. "Yet this personal awareness of dying gives emotional reality to our ability to support Burundians. . . . At home, the denial of the risk of death was easier. I didn't face the reality of my own death nearly so often. I don't think it is morbid to face the possibility; in fact, this working through the possibility of death may be an important way I have been changed by serving in Burundi. Facing the threat of death can inspire us to evaluate our relationships, decisions and activities."
Thoughts of death come daily, but the fears are usually short-lived. Once when a grenade exploded in the street, Suzy's first reaction was an adrenaline rush. Then she looked around, listened for more and noted, "I am still alive." Soon she was able to move on to other things, as Burundians do. After an attack, it is amazing how quickly people begin going to the market, walking to work, taking the minibus to the city--just as though nothing horrible has happened.
Karl Johnson, a missionary in Burundi for 40 years, advised the Yoders how to cope in a violent crisis, saying he is helped by remembering one of two things will happen: "Either I will be delivered out (evacuated or rescued) or I will be delivered up (taken to heaven)."
A young Burundian Roman Catholic student who didn't feel safe walking alone, explained her approach to coping with the threat of death. "When my heart is pure and my relationship to God and other human beings is right, then I am OK. I feel more confident, and I am at peace about whatever happens to me. When I can maintain that attitude, I am even ready to die. Whether I live or die doesn't really matter."
Suzy adds, "When confronted with violent death, I want to believe God will be with me. I will try my best to escape death because I love life and find the world full of interesting people and places and I want to alleviate pain wherever I can. There are miraculous stories of people receiving God's protection, which I do ask for. But I realize I cannot order God around and as God 'loans me more life,' as Burundians say, I am deeply grateful. People do pray for protection and are not granted it. I have told my husband that if I die here and he is still alive, I want to be buried in Burundi in solidarity with Christians here who have seen too much violent death.
"When I was young I remember wanting the Lord to delay His return so I could experience life on earth for a while. Now I beg for His return to end all this suffering."
Lauren and Suzy Yoder are from Davidson, N.C.
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