Return to the M.B. Herald Vol. 35, No. 16
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Our universities and colleges in North America are flooded with students from every corner of the globe. What an opportunity for Christian families! Christian parents can give their families cross-cultural experiences right at their own dining room tables. At the same time, they can share their lives and their faith with these foreign students, many of whom are longing to see what a North American family is like.
Many countries are sending their top students to North America to be educated. For Jerry, a mainland Chinese student pursuing his master's degree in chemistry, it has always been a personal dream to study abroad. "My mother always hoped that I would further my education in North America," says the 25-year-old, who arrived to study at the University of Regina in August, 1994. "A Western degree is highly valued in my country."
The extremely high value placed on education by these foreign students leads to a sacrificial attitude. Many are willing to give up much for the sake of furthering themselves scholastically, sometimes even to the point of leaving spouses and children behind in their home country for several years. This separation from all that is familiar can easily lead to a sense of detachment in a culture that is foreign.
Many of the students are unfamiliar with the customs and culture of this country. Because most come from relational societies, the shock of arriving in an individualistic culture only increases their loneliness. Rose, a 22-year-old student from Sudan, shared how isolated she felt upon arriving in Canada. "In this country, you say 'Hi' to someone when you meet them. Then they say 'Hi'. In my culture, I expect the person to say more, to ask how I am doing. They are too busy here." Compounding this loneliness is a new educational system with the added pressure of "all assignments counting", unlike some of their systems where marks are based on only one examination.
Despite the pressures and sacrifices involved in studying abroad, the number of international students continues to grow, In 1975 there were about 35,000 international post-secondary students in Canada; by 1991 the number had risen to nearly 60,000. As Christians, we need to take more than a passing glance at this growing opportunity.
In addition, as all of this information becomes assimilated, it provides an excellent safeguard against attitudes of prejudice and discrimination. Parents who have involved themselves in friendships with internationals commonly say that these cross-cultural experiences help their children develop a better understanding of other people. One mother shared a teachable moment with her three-year-old who, upon noticing their African student's dark skin, asked if he was dirty. Through his question, she was able to share with her child the uniqueness of God's creation. She reflected, "As parents, we want our children to be able to see past all these issues (physical, language and cultural differences) and be able to say, 'This is a new friend.' "
The time factor may be as simple as getting together for coffee or a meal once a month. Students will enjoy being invited on a family outing such as a picnic, skating or swimming. Even a phone call that communicates the message, "I care about how you are doing," will be greatly appreciated by these students who are separated from friends and family. Most importantly, students need to know that we are available if they need us.
Communication is one of the feared aspects of cross-cultural friendships. People often envision frantic hand signals and monosyllable discussions because of students' poor English skills. Fortunately, this is rarely a problem because most students have a good grasp of the English language before coming to Canada. As for what to talk about, although many of these students are more highly educated than the average Canadian, they are still ordinary people who have families, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Initially, it may feel uncomfortable to invite strangers into our homes, but with real sharing and a genuine attitude of openness, how long will we be able to consider them strangers?
Mary Thomas, a former international student from India, points out that for Christians, hospitality is not an "option" but a "must". She also comments that there is a difference between hospitality and entertainment: "Entertainment seeks to impress people, while hospitality does not expect anything in return."
These ideas echo the comments of one international student whose Canadian friends were seminary students. He was glad that they were not millionaires and, more importantly, that they perceived his loneliness and were reaching out to meet his need.
Perhaps most importantly, relationships with international students give opportunities for families to share Christ through their lifestyle. Knowing that many of these students will return to be leaders in their own countries gives us the chance to impact the world. One student, who had been connected with a Canadian Christian family for several months, commented that he noticed something different in the way that they lived, and that he liked it. What an excellent opportunity for the whole family to be a witness!
Although some students do become Christians while studying here in Canada, for many it may only mean having the seed sown in their hearts. Maybe the difference will simply be a more favourable response to Christianity in their own country when they return home. Either way, the results will be lasting.
The program run by ISMC, Friendship Partners, seeks families and individuals who are willing to get together with an international student about once a month. An initial training program of three to four hours is supplemented with additonal training after participants have been matched with a student. The program is currently operating in 14 centres across Canada, from Victoria to Toronto.
A program run by IVCF in Saskatchewan's two universities, called the Host Family Programme, is very similar. Some other universities, such as the University of Victoria, are experimenting with the program.
Another opportunity for involvement in relationship-building is the "Pick-Up" program, which operates at most campuses across Canada. Canadians can get in touch with their local IVCF or ISMC coordinator or directly contact the International Student Coordinator at the university. This program invites people to pick up arriving international students at the airport and have them in their home for a short period of time, helping them get adjusted to the Canadian way of life. The Canadian host would also help the student get settled into his or her own place of residence. Assistance at such a crucial time as this often serves to build strong links of friendship.
The Chinese student, whose Canadian name is David, finishes reading to Trenton the story about another David, one who had a great faith in someone called "God". Maybe this student, who has been trained from childhood to believe that there is no God, will begin to question his beliefs as he searches for meaning and truth. Perhaps through the influence of this Canadian family, he, too, will become "a man after God's own heart".
Carolyn Willms Gartke, with her husband Tim and children Trenton and Nathaniel, hosted international students in Regina, Sask. for three years. They are now serving with Mennonite Brethren Missions/Services in Siauliai, Lithuania.
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