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One day, I was with my wife and son in a train on our way to a holiday. Suddenly my son asked, "Papa, can Superman reach up to heaven?" (He had seen the movie on TV.)
"I don't know," I responded. "Maybe he can."
"And you, Papa? Can you reach up into heaven?"
"No, I certainly cannot."
"Papa, can God reach into heaven?"
I responded, "What kind of God are you talking about? These are fairy tales!"
Across from us a man was seemingly sleeping, but now he got up and said casually, "Sir, why are you questioning the existence of God?"
I responded condescendingly, "Whatever you want to preach to me will never answer any of my questions. I know it all."
He answered, "Whether you decide to accept or to reject God doesn't stop His existence. If you only knew how much He loves you!"
I have been listening to people all my life and was used to it. I was trained to listen attentively in interrogations, and so I listened. I saw that this man had tattoos all over his hands, which told me that he had been in prison. But this man didn't look like a criminal. His clean speech, his behaviour and his open, honest eyes showed him to be a trustworthy, reliable man securely convinced of his life's goals. I couldn't understand. I had seen many criminals, and even the most arrogant in the end were unhappy with their lives.
This man told me that he had been a drug addict, twice convicted. His life had been totally ruined, but then Jesus had saved him. Somehow I believed him, despite the fact that in my work I had always been told that addiction is incurable. This I knew also from my own experience with smoking. For 16 years I had wanted to stop smoking but couldn't. When this man on the train told me that God had cured him, I was shocked and bewildered.
Some time later, I met another former criminal and drug addict. He was the personification of every evil, violent and dishonest, a person who couldn't live a day without violating someone. His crimes were reckless and daring. This man, we were told, was finishing his sentence and was looking for a job. All his life he had lived by stealing, robbing and blackmailing. Now we heard that he had helped a neighbour who was in need. When I heard this, I didn't believe it, and I said to my colleague, "Let's go and see him for ourselves." So we went to his home.
Before, his first question had always been, "Do you have a warrant?", and he would seldom open the door. Now he let us in with a friendly smile, and no foul language. When I asked for an ashtray, he said, "Sorry. I don't have any in my house, because I quit smoking." Then he told us how the prison had been visited by a group of Christians who had told the inmates about Jesus and had said that Jesus could free them from addiction and change their lives. When he had decided to believe in Jesus, Jesus had made him totally free.
For me, this was very convincing, because I had known what this man had been before. But I still had my doubts. For too long I had been indoctrinated with atheism, the official Soviet teaching that God was a legend and Jesus never existed.
But, as an investigator, I was used to checking everything I heard. So I took the Great Soviet Encyclopedia. About Jesus, I read: "Jesus Christ: A mythological figure of the Christian religion, supposedly crucified by Pontius Pilate." And who was Pontius Pilate? The Encyclopedia said: "Pontius Pilate: The Roman governor of Judea who crucified the Jewish prophet Jesus Christ." I was shocked. How could this book tell me that Jesus was a mythological figure and then state that the Roman governor Pontius Pilate had crucified him? My doubts increased.
Then another witness approached me: He was a criminal who had been in jail several times, always insisting that he was framed and innocent. This man came to me to confess a crime that we didn't know anything about. When I asked him why he was telling me this, he told me about Jesus. Jesus had changed him and had forgiven all his sins. Then he asked me what I intended to do with my sins.
I responded angrily, "You, yes, you have done everything bad and despicable, but I? I am fighting against evil, trying to give back to the people what has been wrongfully taken from them! I have never in my life broken a law!"
He looked at me and said, "If you even think something bad against someone, you are a criminal in Christ's eyes." Then he told me how Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God, the sinless One, had taken on Himself the condemnation which we humans deserved, and how in His death He had fulfilled the law of the righteousness of God. This sermon by a former convict made a tremendous impression on me, because I knew that before this man couldn't even put a decent sentence together.
So I had had three witnesses already, but I had never seen or read the Bible.
Meanwhile, a new investigation was started into a gang of extortionists, thieves and drug peddlers. In this group was a woman whose husband was in jail. We let her go because she had a little baby. This woman suddenly vanished. A search was ordered, and it was reported that she had been seen several times at an evangelical church. I was not interested in churches, but I went to this one.
I took along my pistol, because I was warned that believers frequently sacrificed people and that I, as a stranger, had better be cautious. When I arrived, I was given a very friendly welcome. While searching homes, I was used to rude responses, but here they acted as if I was a most important person, without questioning the purpose of my visit.
When the service started, I noticed that something happened to me. In my work as an investigator, I had become a man without feeling or compassion. During interrogations, I didn't care if the subject was wounded or under great stress. When someone started to cry before me, I ordered: "Stop crying, and tell me what you know! Everything!" I had become totally insensitive to human grief. But this was different.
The woman for whom I was searching had not appeared, and so I had my own thoughts, but somehow I heard what was said by the preacher. Suddenly I heard some very familiar expressions: "Principles of objective liability." "Proof of guilt." "Conviction." "Verdict of guilty." This we had learned at the university! The preacher read how Jesus was condemned and crucified and that, because of His condemnation and death, people could be justified. Involuntarily, I filed the persons involved in Jesus' trial into judicial categories: false witness, perjury, unjustifiable defamation of character, premeditated murder. Suddenly I felt sorry for this Jesus. How quickly they had condemned Him and gotten rid of Him. It was disgusting! I felt as if I was nailed to that cross. When Jesus moaned, "I thirst." and they gave Him vinegar mixed with gall, I felt the bitterness on my tongue. Never in all my life had I been so agitated as in these minutes.
Then came the altar call for repentance. I was very touched, but I still didn't know why I should repent. What should I confess? I heard that Jesus died for me and my sins . . . but what were my sins?
After the service, I was given a New Testament. It was the first time that I had held God's Word in my hands. I decided to find out what people found so exciting about this little book. I started reading it at the beginning: "A Record of the Genealogy of Jesus Christ." I read on, not understanding anything. That troubled me greatly. Other people understood it, and I didn't! I didn't know then that to understand God's Word, you must have God's Spirit. But God used my pride so that I wouldn't give up. I read on. Then I came to the chapter where Jesus talked about the fall of the tower in Siloam and said, "Unless you repent, you too will perish" (Luke 13:5). Slowly the veil was dropping from my eyes. When I read this in the Gospel of John, I was frightened: "Whoever believes in Him (Jesus) . . . has everlasting life . . . but whoever does not believe stands condemned already." I saw myself standing at the abyss. Where was my pride now?
I decided to visit that church again. I told my wife that I hadn't found the woman I was searching for and I was going back to the church.
This time, everything was different. I listened to every word and believed everything I heard, waiting for the altar call.
In trials procedure, if you have two or three witnesses and some convincing evidence, you think that you know the truth. Here I had had four witnesses, the evidence of changed lives, and still I doubted. When I realized this, I was frightened.
When the call for repentance came, I went forward in a hurry, and nobody had to tell me that I must get right with God. I can't describe the relief that swept over me while I was praying, the joy in my unburdened heart.
When we walked out of the church, I wanted to smoke, and I offered a cigarette to the pastor, but he declined, saying that he didn't smoke. I told him that I had tried to quit smoking for 16 years and couldn't. He looked at me and said: "That's right, you can't do it, but God can. If you really want to be freed from this and you believe that God can do it, why don't we stop and pray about it?" We stopped right there on the street and prayed for my deliverance from smoking. When I arrived home, I told my wife everything. We started reading the New Testament together, and I completely forgot to smoke. When I realized this later, I praised God for the interesting ways by which God can deliver us.
On my job, I began to talk to people about God and Jesus. Soon I was called before my superiors and told: "You are an investigator. What are you talking about to these people? That is none of your business! You have to investigate criminal activities, not preach!"
I answered: "I can't help it because I was delivered and I want these poor people to be saved also. God loves them, and I love them too."
Later I met a young student who told me about a Bible school, the St. Petersburg Christian University. We often prayed together, and I made the decision to study theology. I had realized that when I talked to people about God and Jesus Christ, they had a mass of questions, many of which I couldn't answer. I understood that to bring salvation to people, one must seriously study God's Word to get the right understanding of it, to grasp the will of God and to be firmly established in it.
While working as an investigator, I had believed that I had helped people and could save them in a certain way. After my conversion, I realized that in my job I couldn't save anyone. Only God, faith in Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, can save us ultimately. That was the reason that I decided to surrender my life completely to service in God's kingdom. Thus I left the police force and began studies at St. Petersburg Christian University at the age of 35 years.
This article was distributed by LOGOS. LOGOS is the agency that runs St. Petersburg Christian University
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