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When I arrived at their old, dilapidated house, Joe and Arby welcomed me cordially and invited me in. I was shocked by what I saw when I entered. Their furniture was scanty and their clothes ragged. They appeared to be in poor physical condition, both of them sickly and alcoholic. I judged them to be 75 to 80 years old, but discovered later they were both only 62. Neither had any teeth, and each weighed about 100 pounds.
As we visited, I asked about their faith life. Arby openly discussed her spiritual condition. She said she had heard enough about the Bible to know that if she died she would go straight to hell. Joe was not quite so direct but admitted he did not consider himself a Christian.
When I went home, I told Eva, my wife, about this encounter. We prayerfully covenanted that we would love Joe and Arby into the kingdom of God. This turned out to be an important step in our lives. For the next four years, I visited Joe and Arby about twice a week to make sure their physical needs were met and to demonstrate for them the love of our Lord.
Then, one day, they ran their old pick-up truck into the side of a bridge. Seeing that Arby was badly hurt, Joe ran for help. When he returned, the police arrested him for leaving the scene of an accident and for having no license tag for the pick-up, no driver's license and no insurance. Joe was incarcerated for six months.
During that time, Eva and I continued to help Joe and Arby financiallly and physically. We visited Joe in jail and made many trips to Arby's doctor. In the winter, we bought cords of wood so she could heat the house with an old rusty stove.
When Joe was released from jail, he was a broken man and couldn't work anymore. We tried to remain faithful to them. We helped them apply for Social Security benefits and arranged for them to be fitted with false teeth and eyeglasses.
Even as we showed them love, we reminded them that they were lost without Christ. Sometimes Joe prayed with us and even for us, but he struggled to change his lifestyle. Forty years of alcoholism were hard to overcome.
Meanwhile, Arby stubbornly refused to make any changes in her life, even though she acknowledged her need. I began to get impatient and discouraged. One day, I told them that unless they quit drinking alcohol and changed their ways, I would not be able to help them anymore.
A few days later, I stopped by unannounced. Joe was drunk, and Arby had been drinking also. That was it. My patience had run out. I told them I was through helping them.
When I returned home, I felt God convicting me of my foolish outburst. He seemed to say, "Dan, when you sinned over and over, did I ever lay down an ultimatum to you?" Satan would have us believe that when we have witnessed to people, we have done our work and now the responsibility rests on them. This is true, but the apostle Paul commands us to "try to persuade" others (II Corinthians 5:11). Eva and I decided to continue doing what we could for Joe and Arby.
In time, Joe made a commitment to the Lord. Arby was more stubborn than Joe, but she, too, has come to Christ for salvation. Since then, cancer has taken over her frail, 70-pound body, and the doctors say it is terminal. But she is confident she is a child of God and is ready to meet the Lord.
After four years of constant attention, many trips to jail and the doctor, providing them with a washing machine, sewing machine, tools and funds, I ask myself: Did it pay? Beyond the high spiritual dividends, our experience with Joe and Arby showed me how committing oneself to an entire household is a better way of evangelism than I have practised most of my life.
If each family in our churches would make a commitment to love one unsaved family and stick to it, I believe we would be amazed at what God might do.
Joe and Arby's lifestyle may not measure up yet to the standard of the average church member, but they have found hope in Jesus. Did it pay? Yes, a thousand times.
Dan Friesen is a retired Mennonite Brethren pastor living in Reedley, Calif. Arby died Aug. 1, 1995 and had "a quiet and victorious home-going". Reprinted, with permission from The Christian Leader.
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