Traveller

Jim Newton

It could be that our boss passes us over in order to promote a more junior member of the firm. Or our neigbour invites the whole neigbourhood--except us--to her daughter's wedding tea. Or maybe it's just that the paper boy left the comics out in the rain. No matter the shape or size of the bruise, we can host legions of bitterness.

The choice of whether we become a bitter or better person through a trying experience is ours. One key to living bitterness-free is scaling down our expectations of others, particularly those outside our immediate family. What parents haven't struggled with the shenanigans of their brood: broken curfews, junior making mashed potatoes of the family car, and those marathon telephone calls? Despite their folly, our children are seldom targets for bitterness since we're keenly aware that a large part of them comes from you know who. But once we step beyond the four walls, our tolerance threshold takes a plunge, and we tend to become less patient with those operating in our space. We expect honourable treatment. We count on our superiors recognizing and rewarding our achievements.

The problem arises when, despite our best efforts, others don't respond as anticipated. It may be a simple oversight or downright laziness on their part, or they may have grown to dislike us for some reason. Whatever the cause, we feel crushed and begin to stir the cauldron.

Consider, in contrast, the Traveller, the person who entertains no expectations except for himself, realizing that everyone is in process, having a way to go to reach perfection. He understands that fellow travellers carry their own baggage about which he can know little, and he's content with that.

Of all people, Traveller is the happiest, for every good thing that comes his way is a pleasant surprise. He travels light, with no place in his backpack for bulky anticipations. Life becomes one delight after another as the smallest smile or kind gesture comes out of nowhere.

Surely, the root of bitterness has little chance of gaining a foothold under his boots.

Jim Newton lives in New Dundee, Ont.

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