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Someone once said, "You are so good with children. Why don't you have some of your own?" If they only knew how badly we wanted children, they wouldn't have said such things. I did get pregnant once, but had a miscarriage. After that, I endured many invasive tests, including two laparoscopies, a hysterosalpingogram, biopsies and countless blood tests. The conclusion: "unexplained infertility". How frustrating.
I have a good marriage. While we were in waiting, we did not allow life to pass us by. We travelled; we went on two Jesus Film projects; we participated in 100-km cyclathons; we redecorated our home; and we helped in children's clubs at church. But we wanted a family to complete the picture.
We were prayed over and anointed by the pastors at Northview Community Church in Abbotsford, B.C. One of the pastors said, "God has something special in mind for you." Little did I know what that would be.
We got ourselves on file at three adoption agencies, so we were always expecting "the call". The closest we came to being parents through adoption was with a baby in Guatemala. The birth mother had~ to choose between us and another couple. The other couple was chosen. At that point, we felt rejected. What was wrong with us? We couldn't have children biologically, and we didn't even rate for adoption.
Meanwhile, I had been seeing an infertility specialist in Vancouver. In September, 1992 we had an interview for in vitro fertilization (IVF). We were accepted into the program and expected to be admitted in April, 1993. Thanks to a cancellation, however, we were part of the first group in January, 1993.
We were given three choices:
1. Implant only the best embryos and freeze others for later.
2. Implant only the best embryos and destroy the rest.
3. Fertilize a maximum of six eggs and implant all the resulting embryos.
We chose number 3, to have all the embryos implanted, because we believe that life begins at fertilization. We were asked if we were very religious. "Only very religious~ people choose number 3," they said.
The procedure involved injections that helped me produce more eggs than usual. They removed six eggs and fertilized them with ~James's sperm. Two days later, they implanted the five resulting embryos which appeared healthy.
The doctor again tried to discourage us from having them all implanted. The overall success rate of IVF is only 6%; with multiple births, the chance of multiple losses is even greater. The odds were not in our favour, but we were willing to take the risk.
Two weeks later, I had a blood test. Waiting for the results of that test were the longest hours of our lives. When the call came, they said I was the first pregnancy of the year. Later on, when I had an ultrasound test, the doctor said there were three heartbeats.
My pregnancy was uneventful till 19 weeks. At that time, I had to get a stitch placed so I wouldn't lose the babies prematurely. From then on, I was supposed to have complete bed rest. Even complete rest didn't prevent further problems, such as a liver condition which caused itchiness, especially in my hands and feet. Fortunately, there was medication for my condition.
At twenty-eight-and-a-half weeks, I had spotting and cramping. The next morning, James drove me to Grace Hospital in Vancouver. My long, painful stay in hospital began.
Finally, at 36 weeks (the average triplet pregnancy is 32-34 weeks), I had a Caesarean. Laurel Jane was born first, weighing 3 lbs. 2 oz.; Charles Avery weighed 5 lb. 13 oz., and Anthony Martin 4 lb. 7 oz. Three~ healthy children. We were very thankful and very tired, but w~e weren't out of the woods yet.
Twenty-four hours after the Caesarean, I had a second operation--to remove a blood clot in my cervix, possibly a baby that had not grown.
Those first few days were a nightmare for James. Each baby was in a different nursery. He went around to help feed the babies and then visited me. Out of the 63 days I spent in hospital, James made the 75-km trip from Abbotsford 61 times.
On September 18, 1993, we came home with the boys. Laurel came by ambulance to the local hospital, then came home a week later.
Our first month at home was overwhelming. I was still recovering from two surgeries, and we had three crying babies. We were new parents in a big way. I cried a lot too.
After one month, things began to improve. With regular help two-and-a-half days a week, we were able to establish a daily routine. I took regular walks and napped. We managed as best we could with God's strength and wisdom.
When the pastor said, "God has something special in mind for you," neither he nor we had any idea how special each of our three children would be.
This is an edited verson of a talk Jacquie gave to a women's group at Northview Community Church in Abbotsford, B.C. She and James now attend Broadway MB Church in Chilliwack, B.C. Selma Hooge is a member of Central Heights MB Church in Abbotsford.
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