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It is more "fun" to watch Johnny score goals in his hockey game than it was to take his dad to practices at 5:50 a.m. As grandparents, we can proudly enjoy Sally's near-perfect rendition of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" at a recital, but we didn't have to listen to the hours and hours of practice and scales. We can even feed the grandchildren junk food and not worry about paying their dentist bills.
As well, as one grandma said, "We don't have to discipline them." That's because most of the time the grandchildren come to visit and then leave again. We grandparents don't feel that constant responsibility that belongs to the parents. That leaves us more free to just love our grandchildren and enjoy them.
Some grandparents, however, feel strongly about their responsibility to influence and teach their grandchildren. Grandchildren might be more fun than our own children were at times, but don't grandparents have some obligations as well? A friend of mine, who has years of experience, shared some of the following ideas:
* We should pray for our grandchildren. Every grandma and grandpa whose mind is clear, can pray for each grandchild. A 93-year-old grandpa recently told me he was praying for his grown-up granddaughter because she was in a faraway country away from family and friends.
* We should love our grandchildren. We might not be able to like each grandchild the same, but each one should feel he/she is special to grandma and grandpa. If I have a personal goal as a grandmother, it is that none of our grandchildren will ever feel they are treated better or worse than any of the others. With some grandchildren living far away and others close by, it is difficult to give equal time to each.
* We should attend some of their activities. My friend had gone to a grandson's baseball game and was so proud when he caught a fly and hit a home run.
* We should be a good example. We are examples whether we try to be or not. The question is: What kind of role models are we?
In the Bible, very few examples of grandparents are specifically mentioned. In the Old Testament there is Jacob blessing his grandsons, the two sons of Joseph (Genesis 48:8-14). Then there is that wicked woman, Athaliah. She had all her grandsons murdered so that she could become queen (II Chronicles 22:10-12).
The New Testament has a better example: "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois," Paul says to Timothy (II Timothy 1:5).
That leads us to the oft-quoted Deuteronomy 4:9: "Do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them."
In a workshop on grandparenting, Erna Enns said, "We can give our grandchildren a sense of history." Not only can we tell them where we came from and how different things were when we were young, but we can tell them that the Bible is our most precious guide and why we go to church.
Proverbs 13:22 suggests, "A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children." Does "an inheritance" have to be money or real estate? Couldn't it also mean a good reputation, a good name and family traditions?
* We should be available. Another friend says, "We don't want the grandchildren dumped on us, but in emergencies and at special times we should be available to help out and provide a secure place."
"Children's children are a crown to the aged," is how Proverbs 17:6 puts it. We can't choose our grandchildren, and we can't have them first, but we can love them and bless them.
Selma Hooge is a member of Central Heights MB Church in Abbotsford, B.C. She and her husband Helmut have eight grandchildren.
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