Trust and obey

Linda Schroeder

In October of 1984, I made the most important decision of my life: to acknowledge that God loved me and to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. I realized His love had been reaching down to me even when I had lived a life far from godly. I was now saved from my sins. I had never known such joy and peace.

My days with Him turned into months and soon into years. I began to detect a dryness around the edges of my spirit. Why was this happening? I hadn't forgotten His love for me. I shared it with others. I talked about Him to my children. I prayed. I tithed. I read my Bible more often then others I knew. I served in my church. I saw God at work in my family as my husband came to Christ. What more could there be?

Was I just imagining this desire for more fullness in my Christian walk? No, I decided, there was more. I had seen it a few times in others--the ones with the "fragrance of Christ" the apostle Paul talks about, the people that make you want to have whatever it is they've got. Every time I'd met one of these folks, I'd resolved to be a better Christian. I'd told myself, "I'll read the Word every day. I'll pray every day. I'll be more gracious, and I'll even journal regularly." But my spurt of righteousness would be short-lived, and soon I would be back where I started. What was I doing wrong?

Choosing to love God

My answer came in the spring of 1996, when I began to see a subtle change in a close friend of mine. We had always talked about the Lord together, but now she talked about Him like He was her best friend. It was as if she could actually hear Him speaking to her personally. What's more, she was doing things like fully submitting to her husband even when he was making what she thought was a bad choice, and having compassion and mercy on others in a way I had only seen illustrated in the Bible. She was being Christlike--and not just on special occasions. Her Bible went everywhere with her, and she read me Scriptures that were meaningful to her whenever she had the opportunity. I had to know what was happening to her. What she told me made sense, and I made the second most important decision of my life: to love God.

Let me explain. When I became a Christian in 1984, I accepted God's love for me. Now it was time for me to truly love Him back. I thought I was loving Him when I was busy doing all those good things, but that wasn't what God was looking for when He asked me to love Him. Those weren't bad pursuits, but God wanted me to begin at a different place in my service to Him: complete obedience.

Jesus said, "If you love Me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15). To the world, "love" is an emotion, but to God love means obedience--not some of the time, not only when it is convenient, but each day, minute by minute.

The truth is that obeying God is very simple--not easy, but simple. You and I can choose to obey or not obey. God gave us a will, a choice of whether to obey Him or not, and obedience is simply a matter of choosing.

No other gods

Where did I start in my obedience? First of all, I knew that in order to obey God, I needed to know His will. In order to know His will, I needed clear communication between us. That obviously hadn't been the case up to this point, so what was stopping the flow?

In Deuteronomy 5:7, God tells His chosen people, "You shall have no other gods before Me." I began examining myself to find out what "idols" I was serving. It wasn't long before I found one--food. How could I call food my god? What do you call something that you go to for comfort, for security and for relaxation? Doesn't the Lord tell us in Scripture that we are to go to Him for these things? What are other idols in our lives? Cigarettes? Drugs? Alcohol? Materialism? Worship of self? Whatever it is, it is sin. God does not differentiate between idols. They are all detestable to Him.

Once I knew my idol's name, I needed to repent, tear down the altar that I'd built in my heart, and put God in His rightful place in my life. Minute by minute, I relied on Him to guide me, and He faithfully revealed His will. Sometimes it meant fleeing from the kitchen; other times it meant praying; and still other times it meant getting into the Word. Whatever way of escape He gave me, I had to choose to take His way out or fall into my old habit of sin. There were victories, and there were failures, but He was in every circumstance guiding me. In the case of my failures, once I had truly repented, He picked me up, and I began again (and again and again). He also sent me many tests so that I would have practice in obeying Him. Gradually I noticed that the victories were beginning to outnumber the failures. All along the way, God sent small blessings to reassure me He was with me: a note of encouragement from a friend, a phone call from someone who noticed I was losing weight, an unsolicited compliment from my family. These little things showed me that He was giving me His personal attention.

Practice in obedience

This whole process was very much like the journey the Israelites took after their deliverance from Egypt. Where did God take them after this miraculous rescue? Into the desert! Why? Deuteronomy 8:2 says: "Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands." The Israelites had spent so many years in a land full of false gods that the Lord needed to take them to a place where He could retrain them. Do you remember how they had to camp when the cloud stopped and then go when the cloud moved? This was God's way of getting them to practise obedience to His will. It wasn't always easy to pack everything up (kids and all) whenever that cloud lifted. There were times when it even lifted in the middle of the night! The Israelites failed to follow God's will many times. When they did finally get to the Promised Land and the Lord gave them the strange command to march around Jericho seven times, they followed His instructions to the letter. Could God's dealings with us be similar? I think so.

As I prayed, confessed, sang, read and listened to God's voice through my conscience and His Word, He loosed the chains of my slavery to food. But there was something even more wonderful happening to me. I began to know Him better and trust Him more, and one day I found myself in love with God. It was at this point that I understood my real "job description" as a Christian was to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30).

In 1984, I became a new creation in Christ. In 1996, I began to live like a new creation. There are no shortcuts, no easy roads in this walk of obedience. It is a day-by-day walk with Him. In all my steps of obedience, I do everything just so I can hear Him whisper to me, "I love you, and I know you love Me." The greater mystery is why He even wants our love. We are such fickle, self-consumed creatures. Yet He created us to be loved by Him and to love Him in return.

The rewards have been beyond my wildest dreams. What I never thought possible, He has done. He's given me love for those I considered unlovable, forgiveness for the unforgivable, opportunities to express His mercy instead of my condemnation. He has replaced my pity with Godly compassion.

Have I "arrived" yet? No. Yet there is a difference. Now, more often than not, I am obedient to Him. When I do choose to sin, I am much quicker at repenting. And His work in my life continues. He faithfully reveals other areas I need to work on, and then I rely on His mercy to help me tear down the altar He has shown me. Each new day is an opportunity to serve Him with my obedience.

Our loving God waits patiently for us to enter into His full, abundant life, where He is free to use us to change others and bring Him glory. And it all begins at the point of our obedience. Dietrich Bonhoeffer explained, "Only he who believes is obedient; only he who is obedient believes."

Linda Schroeder is a member of Central Heights MB Church in Abbotsford, B.C.

Return to the M.B.Herald Vol. 36, No. 18 Home Page