Waiting for baby

Elaine Froese

My young, slim friend confided that she was expecting. I mistakenly assumed that she was adopting. I assume adoption is part of people's expecting because I am an adoptive parent.

Our firstborn, Erica, arrived at Easter, 1984. The rest of 1984 I don't remember. My husband prayerfully waited for me to come home from the mental health centre where I had a very severe case of post-partum depression. Thankfully, with care, sound medical treatment and God's gracious healing, I was home for Christmas.

Giving birth again was a risky option. We desired another child so we educated ourselves about adoption. In the fall of 1987, I focussed on finding a baby. I told every doctor and lawyer friend we knew and wrote family profiles for various agencies who worked with pregnant women. I prayed lots. We poured our hearts out to our Bible study group.

Fifty-six weeks later, the phone rang. Some birthparents wanted to meet us. We met at our lawyer's office and waited again--quietly. We told no one, but talked to God often of our hope to parent this child.

Finally, the call came: "Your son has been born!" My husband hugged me as we danced with joy across the kitchen. We did lots of talking, crying and picture-taking in the hospital with the birthparents. We agreed to keep in touch on a yearly basis via letters on the baby's birthday. We called him Ian, which means "gift of God". We celebrated Christmas, 1988 with a new son.

On September 11, 1989, the final guardianship order was signed; we were legally Ian's parents. Friends celebrated with a toddler's shower. Hannah's prayer was a precious cross-stitch gift: "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me the petition that I made to Him. Therefore, I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he is given to the Lord" (I Samuel 1:27-28).

Another call came in the fall of 1991--a birthparent wanted to meet us. I was again an expectant mother, waiting quietly for the birth. My journal entries tell the story:

• Friday: This is supposed to be the last day that the baby stays in utero. Hard to wait.
• Saturday: A healthy baby girl was born tonight. We're giving her lots of time with her family. The mother still wishes to relinquish the child. I prayed for God's guidance and peace.
• Sunday: Our pastor prayed for us on the phone, and will keep our secret until we get custody. The children have made cards and signs to welcome the baby. We have all held the baby. We're praying for a good outcome.
• Monday: Restless sleep. We went to the hospital and took some cookies for the birth mother. She was out on a pass, so we looked at the baby through the window.
• Tuesday: Homeward bound, but not with baby. We are praying for God to knit things together as they should be. My friend says praying for God to open and close doors is a good way to find direction. I hope the baby will be in our family soon.
• Thursday: Housecleaning. I jump to the phone, but there are no calls about the baby.
• Friday: Still waiting. Am starting to get impatient.
• Sunday: No phone calls.
• Monday: No baby. The baby is being adopted by a family member, so we are disappointed. God has answered our prayers with no.
• Tuesday: Called my friend to tell her our news. She will continue to pray for us.

Waiting for baby can have many different outcomes.

Elaine Froese is from Boissevain, Man. This article was originally published in her regular column inGrainews.

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