Bride and Groom Alert

by Elaine Froese

Perhaps wedding rings should come with a cautionary label: AAlert! Wearing this ring requires owner to be lovingly aware of spouse's needs and to desire to work at fulfilling those needs!@ As husbands and wives, we must learn to meet each other's marital needs and repeatedly renew our commitment to each other.

Yet, there is another side to the bride and groom alert. As a love-struck young bride-to-be, I fondly remember listing 12 reasons why I loved Wes. I don't recall understanding that I shouldn't expect my husband to fulfill all my needs. Nevertheless, it is true that no matter how much you love your mate, you will have needs he or she cannot meet. You will need other people and interests to make your life meaningful.

@Contrary to any fantasy you may have that a knight(ess) in shining armour will make you happy@, says Michelle Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting, Aunless you know how to make yourself happy, you will be sorely disappointed. There is nothing magical about being married. You won't find marriage fulfilling if you aren't satisfied with the rest of your life. . . . Unrealistic expectations about relationships are the viruses in unhealthy marriages.@

Elaine Froese is a speaker and writer from Boissevain, Man., where she and her husband Wes operate a seed farm. Adapted from an article in Grainews.

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