A Sacred Marriage

by Luke Keefer, Sr

It was not love at first sight, but the possibility of love did dance rapidly through my mind. On Sunday, I took her for a drive in my father's new Ford car--just a reasonable courtesy, of course. Without making any further arrangements, we separated on Sunday afternoon. Her thought was, AThat's the last I'll see of him.@

However, at home, I thought, AI wonder how she would respond to the suggestion that we carry on a correspondence?@ I wrote to find out. A letter by return mail assured me that she would be interested, so that's what we did for the next three years. She wrote on Monday. I got her letter on Tuesday. I wrote on Wednesday. She got my letter on Thursday. She wrote on Friday. I got it on Saturday. I saw Martha two more times that year at church meetings, along with her friends and relatives.

We were not caught up in a sickly love that demanded that we see each other Aeight days a week@. Our love developed in the desert sands of enforced separation, for three reasons: I was barely 17, it was the beginning of the Great Depression, and we lived 55 miles apart. Two years, ten months and eight days later, on April 15, 1933, we were married in Mt. Joy, Pa.

We had practised absolute loyalty to each other in courtship. We had prayed together every time we had parted. We had made the grave decision to marry while in prayer. We now began to carve out for ourselves a future. Just four weeks after our marriage, I was chosen to be a pastor at the small church where I had grown up. Two weeks later, I graduated from teacher's college. The most fantastic thing about it all is to realize that for the next nearly 60 years of marriage, Martha showed herself to be increasingly affectionate, self-sacrificing and deeply spiritual. She was a devoted wife and mother, a co-worker, a supporter and a cheerfully hospitable person.

For 17 years, I taught public school. For 41 years, I was pastor at the same church, at first part-time. Then, after visiting missionaries in 27 countries, we worked at a Bible school in Zimbabwe for ten years. God gave us five children</#209>all chores and blessings. For the last 25 years of our lives together, our home was childless just as when we started, and Martha and I made a love world for each other.

With the march of time, I became amazed at the quality of the wife God had given me. As a pastor, a missionary and a school teacher-farmer, I was often away. This became focussed when we passed age 50 and discussed how little time we had left to be together until Aas long as life shall last@ became a fact. In going to bed at night, we often spoke with tenderness about this. Holding hands, I would say to Martha, AI am sure that the most difficult moment of marriage is the separation by death.@ She never disagreed. I often made the remark that it would be ideal to leave this earth together.

Our engagement had taken place while we were praying together. In answer to my question, AWill you be willing to share your life with a preacher?@, she had said to me and God, AI will.@ I often wondered how she felt in her heart. I felt that my life's demands had put her through so very much, especially going to Zimbabwe, away from family, friends and home. My answer came in the last week of our time together. One day, out of the blue, she said, AYou know, our ten years in Africa was the very best time of our life.@ I agreed.

We were sitting one day in our lazyboys conversing. She fell asleep while I was talking. She awoke with a start and said, AOh, I'm so sorry.@ I assured her of my love for her and my sympathy for her need of sleep. In fact, she now slept about half of her wakeful hours. I suggested a doctor's examination, and we got an appointment for the next afternoon. From the doctor's office we went to the hospital. Two days later, we learned that she had inoperable cancer of the pancreas and liver. The doctor gave me the privilege of giving her the report myself. In this way, I knew that our lifetime rule of holding no secrets would be kept.

She took the report calmly and peacefully. She confided that she had expected it. We immediately spoke of the fact that we were now in the separation phase of our marriage. We agreed on two things to ask for in our prayers: that God would take her soon, and that He would spare her from suffering. God heard. She was with the family six more weeks. She never suffered pain.

The whole family, down to the great-grandchildren, came to visit with Grandma. She was delighted to see them and visit with them.

On Oct. 8, 1992, I was sleeping beside Martha's bed on my lazyboy. At midnight, I awoke to discover that her breathing pattern had drastically changed. She was in a coma. For the last three hours, our daughter and I stood by her bed to observe her decline, which ended at 6 o'clock the next morning. During this time, God began to reveal to me what this sacred moment was all about.

First, God showed to me that Martha had never really belonged to me. She belonged to Him, because He had loved her. I said, AYes, Lord Jesus. Thank you for sharing her with me for almost 63 years.@

Second, I felt an assurance from God that just as He had a plan for Martha's life and that plan was now being completed, He also had a plan for my life that was not yet completed. Furthermore, I should not spend time wondering what I would do without Martha, because God had all that planned, and it would be good.

Third, within the next several weeks, I realized that what God had planned for the rest of my life I would be able to do better without Martha.

Fourth, in my prayers, I repeatedly thanked God for a wonderful marriage and that he had deliberately led me to Martha. My desire was to spend eternity in heaven with God, but God assured me that whatever He has planned for me will surely include Martha.

Fifth, God helped me to understand and to joyfully accept that without Martha, I would never have attained what I did. She stabilized me; she shared with me; she prayed for me; she sacrificed for me; she gave character to our family.

Because of Jesus Christ in my life, I have never suffered loneliness, nor have I ever suffered painful sorrow after our marriage separation. At the moment of Martha's passing, I had never felt so strongly the reality of heaven, and of Jesus Christ's promise that He would prepare a place for us where we could be with Him (John 14:1-3, The Bible).

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