Jesus, as played by Brad Pitt

by Nancy Werking Poling

But wait, I told myself. While we have busts of the Caesars, portraits of Napoleon and grainy photographs of old politicians, we don't have a clue what Jesus looked like. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, any one of his biographers could have described Him. In fact, they should have described Him, so we'd know.

"Seeing the crowds through penetrating brown eyes," they might have written, "He went up to the mountain quickly and without getting out of breath. For He was in top physical condition and had no excess fat on His body. When He sat down on a rock and stretched out His long, tanned legs, His disciples came to Him. He opened his mouth, displaying pearly white teeth, and taught them."

Or, "At that time, Jesus went through the grain fields on the Sabbath, wearing a clean robe of purple and white. His slightly curled, light brown hair was pulled back from His face, leaving one to notice the directness of His gaze and the firmness of His jaw."

"Oh, How I Love Jesus," I sing some Sunday mornings. In my mind, I picture this middle-class white guy who resembles Brad Pitt more than a Middle Easterner who lived 2000 years ago.

He's clean. Yes, the Jesus I sing praises to did not have to deal with a limited water supply. He used Camay, an effective dandruff shampoo and, of course, a rinse for control. Deodorant too, for my Jesus wouldn't have smelled of sweat.

The Jesus I sing to had a perfect body--lean and muscular, like the guys who work out at the neighbourhood gym. There are certainly no signs that, instead of swinging a hammer or lifting heavy fish nets, He mainly went around teaching, preaching and eating at friends' homes.

To be honest, could I love a Jesus who squinted, or who was missing several teeth? He has to have had perfect vision and perfect hearing, for He was, after all, perfect. Could I claim as Saviour a short, stocky man with matted hair?

But how can I say I love one I have not seen when I scorn the fat people, the dirty people, the toothless people whom I have seen? Chances are that Jesus looked more like the man who sleeps on the sidewalk in front of my church than like Brad Pitt.

Nancy Werking Poling is a writer from Evanston, Ill. and author of the book <P>Most Ministers Wear Sneakers.

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