Meditation on a caterpillar

by Susan Classen

I like butterflies. They are a beautiful symbol of life and beauty. I've long been aware that butterflies begin as caterpillars, but I somehow missed an important connection until recently: Caterpillars eat my plants. I want the beautiful butterflies, but I don't want the destructive caterpillars. When I see a fuzzy caterpillar nibbling at my plants, I'm reminded of my tendency to want beauty without destruction, joy without pain, life without death. I want everything!

Dorothee Soelle points out that the rich young man in Mark 10:17 had the same tendency. He lived a good and comfortable life. He held a position of respect and leadership. He kept the commandments. But he felt a void. "If I can just add meaning and fulfillment to what I already have, I will be content," he must have thought to himself. And so he ran up to Jesus and knelt before Him. "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" he asked expectantly.

But Jesus revealed that the young man's desire to have everything was an illusion. The young man's problem was not that he had too little but that he had too much: "Go, sell everything you have. . . " (Mark 10:21).

Jesus' words clearly critique my tendency to want it all. Many people today are seeking spirituality. They want to keep what they already have (education, profession, secure income, family and friends) and add something else (religious fulfillment, the meaning of life, food for the soul, consolation).

Jesus' death and resurrection remind me that I can't have everything. I theoretically understand that life can only come from death, yet I'm taken off guard when I experience loss, when Jesus invites me to let go, when faithfulness demands that I grope through times of darkness and doubt.

The last we hear of the rich young man, he was shocked and "went away sad, because he had great wealth" (Mark 10:22). I would like to think that the story doesn't end there. Once he got over his shock and had had time to grieve, maybe he sold his possessions to follow Jesus. I know it takes time for me to accept truth, especially when it's shocking and unexpected. I know that a grieving process is part of letting go.

As Jesus spoke His hard words, He looked at the young man "and loved him". I pray for the grace to respond to Jesus' call to follow Him. I pray that Jesus' death and resurrection will teach me to appreciate and celebrate life. And I give thanks for the caterpillars that remind me that I cannot have everything.

Susan Classen is a Mennonite Central Committee worker in Nicaragua. This article is an MCC news release.


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