Where there's a will

Margaret Penner Toews

My father was a man of conviction. He demonstrated this in many ways. While most fathers would like to leave a good-sized inheritance to their children, his wishes were that when he died, there would be no money left to divide up.

Dad had seen too many squabbles about wills. In a number of instances, he had been chosen as an executor. Too often, when the time came to read the will, amiable, well-adjusted families who had gotten along well, would find themselves embroiled in conflict.

One evening, after the 20th meeting with one family, Dad came home and said, "We have finally done it right; now they're all angry at us."

Experiences like these firmly cemented his conviction on inheritances. Thus, through the years, there would be an occasional cheque in the mail, never a large amount, but equal to the amount given to each of the other five children. He took pleasure in giving us a financial boost, however small, while he was still around to note our sincere appreciation.

By the time Father passed away, his house and land had all been sold. Incidental goods had also been amicably distributed. There was money set aside for Mother's limited needs. Unable to fend for herself by that time, her care was provided for.

A man related an incident to us. A number of years ago, his wife's family had been at the point where a division of goods was to take place. Tension ran high. Tempers flared. Feelings were reaching the melt-down point. He became very troubled about what was happening, foreseeing lifelong problems unless better attitudes prevailed. A lawyer had been summoned to adjudicate.

Lying awake one night, an overriding thought kept recurring in his mind: "Lay down your own stake in this matter. If you walk away with nothing other than the goodwill of the rest of the family, you will still be the winner." He asked God to take away every selfish thought, every greedy feeling and all his ideas of "fairness".

Later, upon awakening, he told his wife of his conclusion. She agreed with his decision. They prayed and went to face another day of negotiations.

Strangely, something happened when this man and his wife stated their new intent. They wanted God's will in their life. They wanted the well-being of the rest of the family. They were not going to make demands of any sort, and would hold no bitterness.

A quietness came upon the group. The anger drained away. The tension eased. In short order, the essentials were peaceably discussed, and a satisfactory agreement was reached.

What price can you put on peace? What is familial love worth? Is there any money in the world that would make it worthwhile not to have a good relationship with other members of your own family?

Where there's a will, there surely must be a way.

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